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This is how all of my sexual encounters seem to turn out.

Filed under Ted Sex Teddy Bear Funny

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A schitz nightmare.

someone at the door:
rings doorbell
me:
dives to the floor like I'm being shot at, army crawls around the couch, rolls into another room, peeks around a corner to see if I can tell who it is, and then proceeds to wait for them to leave.

Filed under funny Schitzo